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Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:03 am

Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:14 am
Posts: 504

Living in this huge mansion with the man ill be married to the rest of my life, wasn't I suppose to be happy. I was young and still had journeys to complete, but being surrounded by these albums of my past bring back the memories that made me lock myself into my closet while my mother would bang on the door yelling for me to come out. I came out when I felt safe and I can hold a smile for more then fifteen seconds. These memories are the reminders of the days I lost it. The days I couldn't bare to live.

When I was fourteen years young, my happiness was going down the drain. People would keep judging me, using me, talking useless crap behind my back that had nothing to do with them. I lived in a world full of hypocrites and fakes, my dearest friends were fading way from me. Most of them would smoke weed and get high and my other friends would go to parties. I wanted to lose them since graduation but the more events that happened the more my hear felt sudden reactions I couldn't take.

We eventually grew up and had new lives. However I was often in the hospital for psychiatric help. I took everything my friends did to heart and I went mad. I would get a few of my older friends to drive by there houses and then we would throw stink bombs in there rooms or front door step. We would start fires in the most random places where it was illegal. Getting drunk and hitting mail boxes. And even after all of that they even grew up and got obs. I was alone and would sleep most of the day except when i worked at the salon.

I saw and watched all of my friends karma take over them. They ended up living on the streets or in some form of relationship that wasn't healthy. My bests friend was now a prostitute and I wouldn't care to help her or the rest of them. Theres a point in life when you realize who's your true friends and times where you would rather not give to shits what they do anymore. They would come begging to my door for a place to sleep now, and I wouldn't let them and make them think about what they did to themselves.

I as successful and brilliant. I am now invited to the greatest parties in the whole city, the parties with class and three thousand dollar gowns. Even I, a girl who had thought she lost it all eventually grew up and didn't have time for friends. I but i know that forever i lost it. I wasn't that girl that would care for anyone else who had no true respect towards her. I wasn't that girl that would be sweet and give my begging friends money. I wasn't a girl anymore but a woman who lived a hard life and earned my ways of how to live. My sanity was gone and they took it. These were the moments i officially lost it.

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