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Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:45 am

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In year 3000, travels made to the planets Mercury, Venus, Mars, Earth, Jupiter and Saturn was nothing of a big deal. It was because Earths hotspots were deteriorating from global warming and such, so people naturally got bored. So, this scientist named Blimey Ho with an IQ of over 300 decided to invent something that will send money pouring down him like a flood.

Professor Ho started constructing plans, writing out formulae and everything those genius scientists do for a living. He called for fit men to help him build his special tank, called the Ho-tank, which would be capable for lightning speed traveling to neighboring planets! So¦after five years of hard work staring at the fit men assist him with the building of the Ho-tank, the Ho-tank was complete at last! Oh, what joy Professor Ho felt.

The Ho-tank does not work anything like a rocket ship¦it tracks down other random sites in space¦further detail can only be described by an IQ 300 genius, but the most simple explanation is somehow, the tank tracks down some sort of energy from space, and somehow gets transported immediately by strange dimensions to the designated area. The professor gladly took up the offer of being the sacrifice for this experiment, and if he were to die, his will stated that all of my belongings will be shared between the delicious boys that worked for me for the past five years, signed of course, by Professor Blimey Ho himself.

So...the professor hopped in the tank¦pressed the pink button, pressed it again¦ and said a very bad word. I-hate-pink! He shouted. Then¦he covered his mouth as if he had committed the nastiest sin. He gasped. From out of the tank, one of the fit men named Roo said, Blimey, Blimey. Why would you say such a bad word? How could you insult pink? The professor was flooded with guilt, Sorry Roo, it is just that my Ho-tank wont work! Professor Ho scratched his pimply forehead, and a drop of hot, yellow pus made its way down the floors of his tank. It was fantastic all right, for as the pimple juice made its first impact to the floor, the tank zoomed into action through the various dimensions and into outer space, then¦into Mercury. Very sexy! The professor screamed.

*
Have you heard, darling? Uranus is now available for visiting, we can all go to Uranus now! Bibs boyfriend Timmy exclaimed with glee, jumping in his too-tight pants. Bibs blue eyes widened, You serious Timbo? Well thats simply fantastic, so I am going to book the ticket now! Bib replied with animation. He searched his MAC 3000 for flight details. I heard you say ticket, without the plural. Arent you going to buy a ticket for me too, hunka-spunk? Timmy purred, his lips slightly open. That was a total turnoff, Bib thought¦he was acting way too desperate, totally not Bibs cup of Coke. He hurriedly booked the ticket on the net, only one ticket of course. Oh pinker! The tickets are sold out, Timmy. Only one ticket left, and I used the money¦so the ticket is for me, alright? Timmys smile turned 360 degrees. Haha, Bib thought. You just dont want me to go, sweetie-pie! He whined, twisting his butt here and there in the most scandalous manner possible. Bib wanted to run away from that gay, now. Well Timmy, You can check the website for yourself. Bib said, trying not to smirk. He knew all too well that Timmy had the brain of a pea and will not be able to go to that website for the rest of his life. The only thing Timmy thought about and cared about in his life was Bib, Bib, Bib, Bib and sex. Timmy tried to hide his stupidity. Oh...dear me, I must go shop for more too-tight pants! Bye bye, cutie and Ive decided¦I dont want to go to Uranus anymore¦it stinks¦

Bib laughed gaily, what a wonderful day it is. With him is the shiny pink ticket, with his name: Bib Bob, engraved in sparkling print. Away from his boyfriend Timmy whining by his side, he evolved into a new and improved man. He arrived in the Ho-Station, where only 0.5% of the population could set foot in. Many people couldnt afford this lifestyle, but Bib surely could¦which made him laugh out loud, again.

The Ho-station consisted of many gateways, with the planets names labeled on each of them. Bib searched for the one, which labeled Uranus and he succeeded instantly, for a line as long as a dragon was situated right in front of him. He groaned¦this was going to take some time¦oh how long it will be¦he waited¦and waited¦and in a suffering one minute, he was on board the tank, ready for take off. That those 30 seconds were the most exhilarating moments of his life¦just a second ago he was situated on Earth, and now¦he flied through unknown substances, his saliva flying past and landing on one of the other passengers¦his apologies came out in more saliva, so he gave up trying to apologize and had to stick with the fact that one man with a rather fat and ugly face was frowning behind him¦oh how imperfect that made his flight¦

And then¦he was on Uranus¦the first thing he noticed was the aliens were blue and pink! How amazing is that! The blue aliens were women, and no matter how gay Bib was, he did not fail to notice their flawless bodies and faces. Their faces were perfectly symmetrical, quite like his sister! And then¦there were the men¦pink men, with strong muscular build and baby blue spiky hair. They were awesome! Outside the station, he observed the cold surface of the planet¦the ground was metallic gold¦quite like his underwear! Then there were the streetlights; they floated about in shapes that did quite look like his anus! He gasped in awe, for the cars, all rainbow colored flew past him thunder fast. The fashion in Uranus, he found was a beauty. People wore anything to define who they are and their characters. Some wore bunny costumes, others wore pajamas, and some plainly wore nothing at all.

Settling into the top Uranus class hotel, Bib was ready in an hour to experience some fun and action guaranteed to turn his now black and white life multi colored. He sported short- shorts that guaranteed a comfortable action packed day, and a vest, which showed off his world-class muscles. Down in the foyer, Bib and some fellow tourists, all from planet Earth met for a tour called the Uranus Noobs. A female who looked twenty saw his hot-as-hell muscles, so decided to chat him up. Hey there, dont you just love Uranus? Oh, and call me Twitty, by the way. Bib had been born a homosexual, and will stay that way¦he did not go for females, especially not the ones with ancient breath. Twitty, Bib whispered. Is Uranus rotting your breath, because no offense, but it sure stinks. Twitty stepped back, then ran¦back to her room. Bib laughed aloud.

A harmonic, angelic, heavenly voice filled Bibs ears. Bib swirled around and gasped at the most amazing thing he had ever set his eyes on. Standing before him, the pink Uranus man, dressed in shorts and fishnet stockings. He wore nothing on top, which revealed his perfectly molded build. Fascination struck Bib like thunder. He stared at the man for ten seconds, picturing him as his guardian angel. I will be your tour guide¦my name is Man. And what, Earthling, is yours? Bib opened his mouth, cleared his throat, and tried for a steady voice. I-I am Bib Bob. Call me Bib. Man walked passed him, then paused for a few seconds, and leaned in to Bibs ears. You, my Earthling have lovely shorts. He whispered in a low and secretive voice, and strolled off to greet the other tourists. Bib stood stock still, his face crimson. No one had ever complimented his short- shorts before, not even Timmy! Timmy told him that he looked better with too-tight pants...I look way sexier in short-shorts, Bib agreed with a secret smile.

Uranuss hot spots were amazing¦some hot spas were situated near the Uranus class hotel¦the liquid was sparkly¦and purple! Man led the Uranus Noobs males, and a blue lady named Pee led the females. Pee smiled at Bib and was rather friendly when they first introduced, but¦she did a deadly, deadly thing. She went over to converse with Man, and they laughed together! Laughed! She didnt seem funny to Bib at all. Bib despised her¦Bib could sure make a funnier joke. He glared iced daggers at her, and she saw- and all she did was smile back at him! What a Betch! Bib thought with narrowed eyes. That smile disguised a monster¦a dark and ugly fat monster. Anyway¦Bib and some other fellow Earthlings were led to the spa. And the rules were simply amazing¦there in big letters: NO CLOTHING OF ANY SORT ALLOWED. Yes! Bib got to see Man¦naked! Oh, the thought of it brought a shameful blush to Bibs cheeks. Man could obviously see his red state, for he said, Bib, why are you red? Do you feel quite all right? Bib nodded weakly and smiled, then stripped his clothes to show off his quite muscular body. Man stared at him and Bib felt it. Bib turned around and there Man was¦totally naked. The first thing he noticed was everything of Mans was pink! ¦Even there! Oh how scandalous! You can stop staring now, Earthling. Man smiled. Bib couldnt voice anything for a few minutes, and then squeaked, How pink you are, Man. Oh! He voiced his minds words! That surely wouldnt have turned out well¦ Why thank you¦you are rather hot yourself. You are very gay indeed. Bib blushed¦but then, maybe Man wasnt gay and was just being polite? Man must have seen his panic, for he added, I am the lord of gay. I am gay inside and out. And you Earthling must be my gay boyfriend. Yes? Bib nodded with ecstasy and forgot about his Earth boyfriend Timmy, who cared anyway¦

So it was far too pleasant to have a relationship with a Uranus pink man, far too pleasant. He was beyond romantic, and even farted a song for Bib! It smelled sour, but behind the smell- sweetness indeed! They arrived in the hotel, and hurriedly abandoned the tour group¦and back to Bibs room. Bib opened the door with the widest smile. Oh my exclamations mark! It couldnt possibly be, it must be a fragment of wild imagination! How did Timmy end up, lying on his hotel bed with a tight skin colored suit turn around to say hello, then frown! Bib blinked and counted to ten. Yes¦this was reality! Man gave him a quizzical look. Bib could not explain. Darling, who is he? He is your friend? Ah! Do not tell me that he is your new boyfriend! You are dumping me? Timmy asked. Whoa¦Bib was stunned, he was found out! Dumping Timmy was impossible, because that meant that his limited edition furry underwear would never be returned! He loved it! This is Man¦my tour guide! Man turned to him and gave him a look beyond disappointment. Before Bib could say anymore, it was Timmys turn to speak. I am Bibs boyfriend, Timmy. Timmy exclaimed, and then pulled Bib into the bed to sit next to him. Bib was beyond words. He was going to poke Bib with a toothpick until he dies! Bib wanted to cry, but he didnt want to lose his limited edition underwear! Man composed himself after a short moment, Sorry for intruding, Earthlings. He said, and with a bow¦he left!

Bib felt horrible and extremely guilty, but he must retrieve his limited edition furry underwear before he breaks up with Timmy. He turned around to face Timmy, and with gritted teeth, he growled Why in the Uranus are you here, Timmy? Timmy smiled, that stupid smile. I followed you, my dear. You lied, there were still tickets to be sold, but that is okay¦you just wanted time alone, am I right? You have had enough time, I think. So I got on board the next tank after you¦and saw you move your small bottom out of the Uranus hotel¦so I followed you! All the way to your room, then I was tired¦so here I am! Oh¦Bib thought, what an A-hole! How could he! So, you, Timmy are a stalker! Bib growled again, with narrowed eyes. You angry, darling? Dont be¦and dont worry about me being bored, it was very interesting stalking you, especially when I had a nice view of your bottom all the way.

It was very late at night, and Timmy snored very much like a chicken. Bib couldnt sleep¦obviously because of the gay noise. Bib had to find a way to retrieve his limited edition furry underwear, and then¦he could slap Timmy on his butt and tell him to scram away from his once sexy life. Damnation, Timmy was sleep-talking. Fire on my pants, I dont want fire on my pants! Timmy shouted, but in sleep mode. His face was panic-stricken¦but his eyes were closed. He shook his pants off with vigorous movements¦and then, Bibs eyes widened. There it was, that bastard had been wearing his limited edition furry underwear! Hurray-o-lies! He almost ripped his belonging off of Timmy¦thankfully Timmy was still snoring, and scratching his bottom¦now, all Timmy had to do was find Man, a difficult task considering how Uranus class hotel is the size of New York.

He opened the door and closed it silently behind him¦he heard faint noises and smelled a slightly sour smell. He heard a melody of the song were meant to be. It sounded strange- very helicopter like. It couldnt possibly be¦oh! Bib raced around the corners, and there Man was, farting out the song. Man caught sight of Bib and his face looked confused. What are you doing here, Man? Bib asked with glee. I thought this was your room¦ A Mercury-ling, the color of slime-green opened the door, and stared at Man. Could you please, Uranus-ling, fart somewhere else? The slime colored Mercury-ling asked with an impatient glare. Bib bit back a laugh. My apologies, Mercury-ling. Man blushed slightly, then turned to face Bib. Who was that, the Timmy Earthling, was he really your boyfriend? Bib explained everything to Man and Mans discovery brought a smile to his pink face. My dear Bibby, you are going to show me what you look like¦wearing only your limited edition furry shorts. Bib was all too excited to show him. But first, you must be pink¦like us Uranus-lings. Bib jumped from happiness! He wanted to be pink, all right. So I would have to dye my body¦there? Man smirked. Yes¦there.
They lived gaily ever after.

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