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Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:16 am

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Zombies ... are real. Ok well before you think i am going all crazy and decide to lock me up ... hear me out. Think about it, people go through life and never pay attention to what is around them. They always look forward and go for the kill in life. Some of us are just locked on our dreams. Which is not a bad thing, but you can get so caught up in life and dreams, that you never have any time to stop, look around, and enjoy the little things. Cause truth be told the little things make up our life. And well ... zombies never look around, relax, or frolic through fields with a smile on there face and hand in hand with someone that they like. And well, people want that. Most everyone wants to be loved and know what love is. But, zombies have no time for childish acts, they want people dead and they will do everything and at any cost to get it. Even if it has to do with them getting hurt. Zombies are real! Not like the ones in movies. But the ones who never stop and take time to reconsider how good their life is... the real people of our world. Truth be told we should be on the look out for some special infected zombies.

One of my personal favorite the “Back Stabber”. O yeah, they are real alright. First sign of one of these you hear lies. They just start rolling in, but you just don’t know it yet. They seem really friendly at first, but then those lies turn into gossip and soon that gossip turns into rumors... about you. So i suggest you to keep on your toes and if you see any of these signs stay clear and walk away. That will be the only way to avoid these vicious creatures.

Another zombie that you should keep an eye out for are the infamous “Goodie Goodies”. They will stab you exactly were it hurts. You will know one is close by, when all of a sudden they start to suck up to the older figures around you. They over achieve and are teacher’s pets. A big problem i have found in them is that they like to make every one else in the area feel less smarter than them. Unlike some of us, who try and hide the fact that we have a brain and that it is used to its full advantage, they will flaunt there ever so genius brain of theirs. But .... the worst part of the stupid sucking up goodie two shoes is that you want to try and do better than them. They draw you into their mind manipulation games. Before you know it you are into the game, except your objective is a little different. The objective it to destroy your creator at all costs.

We even have the ... “NASTY”! Yep, it is exactly what you think. The one zombie in the room that NEVER showers. When you walk into a room you just smell the stench rolling out. And you are so discussed, that you just want to pour water all over them and start scrubbing them down with anti-bacterial soap. Then after your done with that you should hand them some DO for their BO. Not to mention the fact that their hair has so much oil on it that you could supply the oil needed to run a car. You usually don’t have to worry about running into these zombies unless you have a stuffed up nose, because you can smell them about a mile away. Just enough time to scurry the other way.

The next zombie in this gosh for saken world is a “Wanna be”. They are annoying! When someone changes their mood they change. For example say if the wanna-be was enjoying some brains in the ghetto, they would walk with a swag. But then, the very next day they were cowing down on a country bumpkin they would wear a straw hat and have a country moan. These zombies are so fake it is almost unreal... no pun intended. You still can do the monster mash with these zombies but be sure that they are really showing who they are, not what they want to be.

You would think I’m almost done with these zombies ... but you are wrong. The next zombie is a “Crazy”. That’s what there called, there is no way else to explain it. They always think that they are something else. Not a zombie but a different creature. Like apparently they can be something else that is so not possible. Like a werewolf, vampire, or there are some that think that they have super zombie powers. This zombie should be dealt with in a specific manner. First, you will have to get close enough to them to put a bag over their head. Then, you will have to put a stray jacket on them. After that, you need to put them in a padded room to get all of their frustrations out. And finally, i would recommend you to put them through years and years of therapy.

O man, this one will get you every time, the “Whiner”. These won’t hurt you, they are too scared. They will just get on your very last nerve. They suck up, they get what they want, and they also lie. But the worst part of these little devils are their whine. They will whine and whine and WHINE until they get what they want, or till they prove their point. Either way the reason they go about this, it still is the worst thing you will ever hear in your life. The reason that they are like this is because the lack of discipline that has been thrusted upon them. The only way to take are of them is to discipline them to the bone. Start by putting them in a cage, then set a human in front of them. When they stop whining still don’t give it to them. This will give them a lesson that they won’t forget.

The next zombie is the “Snob”. They are the ones that when they moan, walk, or look at you with those beady eyes you just want to slap the crap out of them. They always are rude. Per say that you asked them to move their zombie limp a little faster, what they would do is go a little slower. They just love to condescending and snarky. They will also just have this attitude that is almost unbearable. The only way to terminate these horrid creatures is the punch the living crap out of them. Make them forget who they are, were they are, and what they do.

Ok, so i have informed you of the zombies that will terrorize your lives. Now i will tell you about this one zombie, that is my hero. This zombie is far from normal. You could say that this one is almost human. But once you’ve meet them you know for sure that they are a completely one of a kind being. This one has been with me through thick and thin. I now for a fact that they love me more that anyone... EVER. Even when they get married they might even love me more. I know for a fact that this zombie is my favorite. I love them with all of my heart. I would take a bullet, or even a knife, or board of wood, and maybe even a frying pan, for this zombie. This is a one of a kind love, that is only found between us. This zombie is crazy, funny, sometimes rude, protective, loving, caring, and all around exponential. So you think you know it all do you? Well you don’t. This zombie has more love than anyone i know. They try to hide it though, until it comes to me. This one will let it be know, that I’m theirs, no one can harm me. And i have always tried my hardest to classify it, but it always turns out the same. The only word i can express to the world with one word that can tell people the closeness we have is ... “Sister”. Yep. that’s right. My sister. You will never feel the love like a sister’s love. We may get on each others nerve. But we will always have each others back. No one could break us apart. No matter how many miles may be between us or the feeling of distance, we will always love one another with all of our hearts.


A special thanks to the people who make me mad, annoy me, or just i don’t like you. And for my sister, for always loving me and being there for me. I love you Kristian Dawn Myers.

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