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Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:44 am

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Herman liked snails. Everyone else liked cats, dogs, horses, and a select few enjoyed the company of fish. But Herman wasn't like that. Herman didn't like petting cats or scratching dogs behind the ears. He didn't like riding horses, and fish made him nervous. But he liked snails, and took pleasure in watching them slowly make their way across his windowsill.

He love them so much, that one day Herman decided to become a snail. That Thursday, Herman did not wake up with a bang. In fact, nothing happened with a bang that day because Herman was now a Gastropod. Immediately (or as immediately as was possible being a snail), he taped his pre-prepared cardboard box to his back. He had drawn a spiral on it to look more shell-like. Already, he was feeling like an invertebrate. Herman got down on his stomach, and slowly oozed out of the room.

"Good morning, champ!" boomed his father from thdinner table. Herman didn't want to speak and ruin his whole experience. He hoped his father would understand

what he had become

"Why in the world do you have a box on your back?" shrieked his mother "And why are you on your stomach on the floor?"

Herman slowly quivered what he imagined to be his feelers. His parents looked worried.

"Herman, honey? Why are you acting this way?" Herman oozed out the door and began his long journey to school.



Nigel was Herman's best friend. And the one thing he loved more than his mother was salt. No, Nigel was not your everyday salt lover. He was a salt fanatic. He put salt on everything; he even put salt on desert. It was Wednesday night and Nigel sat at the table staring at the salt shaker. He wanted to get to know salt better. He wanted to reach the deepest level of salt-worshiping there was. It finally occurred to him... Become salt!

And that's how Herman and Nigel simultaneously became their passion.



Everyday at school, Nigel and Herman would greet each other with a hug. And this day was no different. Except for the fact that Herman was a snail and Nigel was an ionic compound.

Upon seeing his best friend, Herman waggled his feelers enthusiastically and oozed as fast as he could towards Nigel. Little did he know that his friend was a pile of salt. And when Nigel caught sight of Herman, he spilled himself in that general direction with joy (also oblivious to his friend's new form). The combination of salt and snail was fatal. As they embraced, Herman was enveloped in salt and with horror, he felt himself begin to shrivel! Herman cried out "No!" and Nigel realized what he had done. But it was to late. The snail in Herman had died.



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